It’s been a couple of weeks and I have to say it hasn’t been easy to eat mindfully. Since school has been out for the summer, I haven’t had much structure or routine to my days. Instead, we’ve been planning on the go which leads to unhealthy eating choices. I find myself mindlessly eating at night, mostly sweets. I’m feeling an undercurrent of stress right now because I’m moving and starting a new job so that is definitely weighing on me, but overall I know I’m doing a whole lot better than 3 years ago. I’m excited to move even though things are not all in place. I have a lot of faith that things will work out and we’ll find the right place to live and in the right town. Whenever I think excessively about it, that’s when the stress shows up, but what’s the point of stressing when I can only focus on today? It’s a different approach for me, but I know it’s the right approach.
I don’t know if the mindless eating is a result of the undercurrent, or lack of routine, or just plain old habits showing up again. Either way, I’m disappointed in myself because I know this is not who I am as a person. I know I can do better. I contemplated going on another diet, but had to talk myself out of it because diets don’t work. I’ve been on and off of them for years and it only is a temporary fix.
I have been noticing lately the saying “It’s going to get worse before it gets better”. It’s a sign from God because I’ve been feeling a bit of helplessness lately and when hearing that statement, I realized, that’s true. It has to ‘even out’ before it gets better because I’ve been on a diet most of my adult life and to get out of that mindset takes time and effort. I have to re-learn how to eat based on appetite, taking the time necessary to break down food, know when the body is full and to become aware of the emotions around eating. These are some things I didn’t learn. It feels weird at first, but then again, everything that’s new feels weird until it becomes habit.
Even though my schedule is not structured, it doesn’t mean my eating has to be unstructured. I thought about just writing out what I’m going to eat or write it down afterwards to at least introduce some structure. Not for the purpose of counting calories, but for just inserting some awareness into my day. I’m going to see how that works and if it will help or not.
The next couple of months are going to be busy, but it doesn’t have to be an excuse to eat out of control or practice habitual mindless eating, how do skinny people do it when they get busy?
What do you do when you find your life ‘out of control’? Do you eat more or less? Why?