Slow and Steady Healing

It’s been 25 days since I’ve eaten sugar or flour.  I haven’t had any physical cravings at all since the first week. Probably because I’ve been eating whole foods that fill me up more than ever. I have never eaten this much food before.  I remember years ago when I was on WW, I would try to fit in the ‘good foods’ with my points, basically eating less to keep enough points to eat ice cream later in the day.  But that sacrifice did not provide the appropriate nutrients to keep me healthy. Yes, I lost weight, but I didn’t necessarily do my body a favor in the long run nor did I learn the right way to eat to sustain a healthy body.  The WW program has since changed significantly which probably was because so many other people were doing the same thing. I didn’t think about it back then, I was just thinking about getting in those foods I craved the most, cookies, cakes and ice cream because I was addicted to them.

Without those foods, I’ve been feeling good, losing weight and it’s been nice to feel ‘in control’ again.  For roughly 2 years, I had given up on my health because I wasn’t seeing progress. I would go on a diet, lose a few pounds, stop losing and then nothing. I would become frustrated and binge saying to myself, ‘Nothing works!’.  This time around, I have so much more hope because I’m taking things very slow and seeing a difference. My first order of business was to get off sugar and flour, focusing on eliminating the cravings for those foods I was addicted to and so far it’s been nice. I even forgot to eat lunch one day!!

However, handling emotions is key.  Things have been occurring in my life where the emotions come on strong. In the past, I would quickly reach for food and binge to alleviate those emotions to feel better quick.  Lately, I haven’t been doing that, so I’ve had to come up with new ways to work through them.  The good news is because I focused on improving my emotional intelligence for the last few years, I’m noticing a difference in how I’m handling them than I ever have in the past.  It’s a new concept for me.  Since I’m not eating to deal with the emotions, they are significantly heightened and I have to face them now.  I’m not going to say I’m a 100% there, but I’ve definitely come a long way. It’s a little overwhelming, but I’m taking things day by day. Thankfully, I have a support system of friends and family I can call on and it helps.

As I continue healing, I will take it one step at a time. In the past, the perfectionist attitude would have me take on so much at once that there was no other option but to fail. This time around, I’m doing things a lot slower. Focusing on a few things helps keep it all manageable. Yes, I’m sure there are so many other things I have to do to heal, but for right now, this is working. So I’ll continue to focus on that and forget the rest (for now).

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