This is a big week that includes my son’s birthday (2 parties), the holiday (parties and fireworks) and house guests. Well, ‘they say’ things come in threes, I don’t necessarily believe it, but this week there are three events to manage. It’s been 32 days since I’ve been off sugar and flour. I’ve lost a total of 11 lbs and about 5″ (not sure about this figure because I’m measuring myself which may not be consistent). Either way, my pants are loose and that makes me happy.
We celebrated my son’s birthday with ice cream pie, his favorite. I had my husband pick it up because I didn’t even want to attempt going into an ice cream shoppe. I decided while they were eating the pie, I was going to eat my snack. I had it all planned out. That night, while they dug into what looked like an amazing Oreo ice cream pie, I was eating my snack and it wasn’t that bad. The pie eating only took roughly 15 minutes. I was at the table and we all sat around and talked. The pie was put away and it was over. I prepared ahead for 15 minutes which just proved to me my relationship with food has gotten out of hand.
I didn’t experience physical cravings which was good because if I had that and ’emotional cravings’, I don’t know how I would have gotten through. The emotional cravings is what I’m dealing with for the majority of the time. The only time the physical piece comes into play is when I wait too long to eat – 4+ hours which happens at times. The emotional cravings go something like this, “Aw I wish I could have some of that pie, it looks so good. I know it tastes amazing too because I’ve had it before. It just feels like I’m missing out on that taste, that taste that is yummy. The food I eat doesn’t have the same ‘yummy’ factor that sweets do. Aw I want a piece.”
On the flip side, here’s how I’ve had to counter those thoughts. “I’ve eaten so much ice cream in my life, does it really help me to eat more? Eating excessive sweets and sugar made me fat, unhealthy and uncomfortable. They taste good momentarily, but is it worth it when I’m gaining tons of weight because I can’t control my eating afterwards. Sugar sends me on a downward spiral of overeating which has costed me my life, literally. I’ve been fat, unhealthy and heading down the path of diabetes and who knows what else. I’m tired all the time, can’t fit into clothes and getting fatter. That’s what overeating sugar and flour has done to me, is the ice cream pie worth all of that? It’s taken my life and now it’s time for me to take my life back.”
This conversation (or similar variations) can go on for a while. It has to occur because the child within me has ruled for too long and honestly, has put me in a position of obesity and poor health. This is not who I am. I was an athlete in my early life, worked in the health industry for years and I’m a certified personal trainer. Health and wellness are part of me. Food is nourishment, that’s it. It’s not my crutch when I’m lonely. It’s not serving me in any capacity, in fact, sugar and flour make people fat and sick.
This weekend is July 4th. We have another party tomorrow night and Saturday and today I am spending time to plan ahead my eating schedule. I will also have foods I’d like to eat ready to go so there’s no ability to be ‘stuck’. This holiday is huge when it comes to cook outs, drinking and overeating. I know because I’ve done it year after year. This year though, it feels good to have more control. I’m going in knowing how things will be and if there are times where I’m not sure, I will think it through first before making a rash decision.
My focus is going to be on spending time with family, enjoying conversation and taking time to relax for the holiday. That’s much better than feeling regretful at the end of the weekend because I stuffed my face with so much food. Remember, food is nourishment, not emotional comfort.
I wish you all a happy and safe holiday. Enjoy your families and friends, that’s what it’s about!