Category Archives: Negative thoughts

An Emotional Pattern Leading to Overeating

For some reason, every day when I get home from work, I reach for sweets and carbs. It’s like my body is on autopilot.  Same with after I have dinner, I reach for sweets. Yes, there are times when this doesn’t occur, but it’s when I’m traveling, have an event or not in my normal routine.

After taking the time to dig into this pattern, I realized it started during childhood.  My mother did this exact behavior every night after getting home from work.  For her, it was Saltines and butter (not appealing to me at all).  She would come home, break out the Saltines and slap butter on them while at the counter and just eat and talk.  My father was busy working so it was me who got to hear about the trials and tribulations which occurred that day.   The transference of not only the emotions she experienced, but the behaviors of ‘letting go’ and eating stuck with me for years to come.

When I want to relax after being at work all day, I come home and mindlessly eat sweets or carbs to feel better immediately. The problem is this pattern has become so ingrained in my being that it’s now 30 years later and I’m still doing it. I’m aware of the pattern and have tried stopping it, but I know now that it goes deeper and is going to take practice replacing this pattern with something different, something healthy.  It’s not just the behavior, but the automatic thoughts that precede the behavior which I want to address.

In the past, I would impose discipline and willpower through a diet which would work for a short time, but it crept back into my habits.   Before kids, I would go to the gym and that helped but now, it’s not an option. I then tried to eliminate the behavior and that didn’t work because I was missing the ‘outlet’ of changing my state after coming home from work. All of these were tactics which didn’t last because I never addressed the underlying cause.  Why does this happen? What emotions am I feeling? Why am I not feeling the emotions and dealing with them?

Today, I have come to the conclusion the key here is feeling the emotions as they come up and when reaching for food, consciously think about what I’m craving, notice why I’m craving the food and if needed, to sit down and eat the food mindfully while asking questions like, “Is this what I really need right now? Am I satisfied? Am I still hungry?” which will change how the food is consumed.  Bringing light into the emotional pattern is the key here.  I know it will help to uncover why I’m doing it and when that happens, then it will be easier to replace this habit with a healthier one.

I’ll let you know how it goes…

Lies We Tell Ourselves

This week, I had to come clean about lies I’ve been telling myself and find out why this happens. So I did some research and came up with some interesting information.  I particular liked what Joyce Marter, LCPC says in “We All Lie to Ourselves: How to Stop, By Joyce Marter, LCPC

In the article, Joyce points out four reasons why we lie to ourselves. Here’s the one I wanted to focus on today:

  • Minimizing how much we eat to preserve our eating addiction ***   

This is the one that hits home. Over the years, I told myself often I could eat sugar in moderation and would ‘downplay’ how much I truly ate in order to ‘allow’ myself to eat more. I know that sounds strange, but it’s the truth. I can see now, I wanted to preserve my addiction to sugar because I loved it so much. I felt I needed it all the time (and when I say all the time, I’m talking at ever meal)! It was a defensive mechanism (self-preservation) so I didn’t have to face reality that I lacked self-control in this area.  It’s not easy to admit to this fact, but it’s the truth and I wanted to share the truth with you today.

While choosing to avoid sugar, I found something else that’s been causing some cravings. Real Peanut Butter (the natural, no sugar kind). In the past, I’ve never really had an issue with Peanut Butter, until now.

Peanut Butter

I keep telling myself I can have a little in moderation because I’m not eating sugar, flour or corn at the moment (self-justification).  I can have one treat, why not? But I’m noticing that I’m eating way more then I should.  I have to realize, this is going to hurt my efforts if I continue without setting limits on myself.   I haven’t done well with setting limits on food in the past.  I find myself eating more than I should, not sticking to the amount I agreed upon earlier in the day.   Is this a lie I’m telling myself, that I can eat more than what I planned? Definitely! How do we stop lying to ourselves? Joyce suggests we start by:

  • Examining those areas of our lives which are hurting us  — doing that through this blog post.
  • Continue to engage with people we trust — talking with BFFs.
  • Feel the negative emotions, talk through them and practice allowing them to dissipate — Redirect emotions towards something positive and consciously forgiving myself.
  • Focus on connecting to our inner self, and doing a gut check, are our thoughts, behaviors and words in alignment? — am what I’m thinking, saying and doing in alignment – I would say no because I’m thinking I can ‘handle’ the peanut butter and yet I’m not controling the portions.
  • Do our best to always be honest — It’s time to face the facts that I need to either control the portions or not eat the peanut butter.

As we all progress through this journey, it’s important to recognize and address those lies we tell ourselves in order to begin the healing process.  If we don’t, we’ll continue to spin and become frustrated, beat ourselves up and not reach our goals.  Have you lied to yourself about your eating habits?  If so, what are some examples?


The Ups and Downs of this Journey

It’s been an interesting few weeks. I contracted a cold, which I haven’t had in years.  My skin all of the sudden became inflamed and itchy.  I couldn’t figure it out.  I have been eating well for over 50 days now and yet for some reason, these things appeared. I’m thinking my body is just ridding itself of toxins, but I’m not sure.  My focus these past couple of weeks has been on getting better and healing.

Last week, we went on a road trip.  Eating out required planning ahead and looking online at menus to decide which would be the best choices.  Overall, I did well.  However, when I got home, we went out for dinner one night and while I ordered fish, I also ordered sweet potato fries. I know it was because I waited too long to eat and I didn’t plan ahead. One big learning, if I wait too long I feel vulnerable to the negative thoughts of giving up. In this case, I had the thought, I want sweet potato friends and I’m going to eat them. Because I was hungry and tired, these thoughts were strong and prevailed over my ‘logical self’.

The next day, I got back on track and started eating what I planned for the day and I felt much better about it. But lately, I have been craving carbs and that’s a sign the sugar is calling.  It’s important to keep moving forward and continuing to plan ahead the healthy foods I’m going to eat. I also plan to pick out some interesting recipes I can look forward to eating so I don’t get bored eating the same things every day.

 

 

I continue to learn about myself, habits and how my body works.  I do well planning ahead instead of leaving it up to circumstances where I’m more likely to binge on unhealthy foods.  I’m so grateful though that I’m not overeating or have the ‘urge’ to overeat in the afternoons and at night. Even after eating the sweet potato fries, it didn’t set me up to binge on sugar and flour. It was easy to regroup which is a different then what I’ve experienced in the past. Typically, I would go off and binge for days.

One thing I’m exploring is my thoughts and focus throughout this journey.  I believe no matter what, if I focus on health and being at the perfect weight, things will change. Instead of focusing on ‘good vs. bad’ foods and focusing more on health, I believe my life with change dramatically. I’m testing the theory out now.  In the past, my focus has always been ‘losing weight’ and I’m not sure if that was the right focus.  I think now, it’s more about health.  More to come on this as I go through this journey. For now, I’m thankful I could share with you these experiences that are evolving me as a person while also transforming how I approach health and wellness.

5 Things That’s Changed Since Being Off Sugar & Flour

It’s been 39 days off sugar and flour and there are some significant changes I’ve witness so far I wanted to share with you.  It amazes me how fast these changes have occurred.

  1. Improved sleep – 2 months ago I was complaining about my sleep.  I just couldn’t get comfortable at night and sleeping through the night was rare.  At times, I found myself waking up abruptly (which may have been sleep apnea) and I snored.  For the past few weeks, I haven’t woken myself up and sleeping has been much more comfortable.  I can’t believe how much better I’ve been feeling during the day because I had a decent night of sleep.
  2. Self-control – this is an interesting one. I’ve blogged in the past how much I’ve been very hard on myself repeatedly about not controlling my eating in the afternoons and at night. These last few weeks have been eye-opening.  I haven’t felt a physical craving since the first week.  The biggest test was when I spent hours decorating my son’s birthday cake (cake was a huge trigger food for me) and not one thing went into my mouth.  I didn’t even have one urge to take a bite! Unheard of in the past!
  3. Clear & focused thinking – I blogged about a time at work where I had to give a big presentation and rocked it. Now this doesn’t seem out of the ordinary but in the last few years, I’ve noticed differences with my memory and quick thinking.  It never seemed an issue in the past, but I couldn’t deny it was slowly impacting things in my life and it started to bother me more and more.  Today, I’m remembering things and can quickly focus on tasks rather then feeling ‘all over the place’.
  4. Calmer disposition – This one follows the one above because I believe having focus and clarity leads to a calmer life.  I can’t tell you how much I experienced anxiety over stupid stuff (not getting somewhere on time, etc).  I noticed a dramatic change just the other day when a ‘stressful’ situation came up, I was able to take a moment to think clearly instead of impulsively taking action.  Even my family noticed this change!
  5. More energy – Finally, I definitely have more energy to do things. I have been up later and doing more then ever.  Typically, I would zone out after dinner on the couch with ice cream. Now I’m getting ready for the next day, cooking a full dinner or finishing things on my ‘to do’ list. It feels nice to have the energy to get things done instead of having them linger.  A huge plus as I move into this next month.

Overall, I can say this has been the best experience for me. I feel so much better.  Have I lost weight? Yes, but it’s more than that. Having self-control is the most liberating.  Feeling better about my focus and thoughts helps too.  I’m not saying there are going to be tough times, in fact I was just talking to a friend about traveling this weekend and making sure I prepare ahead because eating on the road has been an issue for me in the past.

Losing weight in our society is not easy.  We are hit constantly by food ads and fast food places, it’s overwhelming.  It takes time and effort to be healthy.  But my decision to do this for myself is a priority and there isn’t any other way but to take the time and effort to plan ahead.  Next week will be good test to see how I do on the road. More to come!

 

Making my health a priority

It’s been an interesting week.  BFF is here and on time as usual. It explains my emotional roller coaster last week.  I’m on day 11 not eating sugar or flour.  I feel okay but it’s hard to say how much it’s impacted my health because it’s so early.  I’m not experiencing physical hunger. The food I’m eating (whole grains, veggies, lean protein) keeps me satisfied for the day. I was feeling very tired yesterday and believe its because of BFF right now and why I ate some ‘Mary Gone Crackers’ (flax crackers) last night.  I didn’t have it planned but it satisfied the ‘crunch’ that I was looking for all day.  I’m wondering if those types of cravings eventually disappear with time.

Time – that’s the key.  It took me 20 years to get to this point, I know it’s going to take time to get used to eating this way for the rest of my life and ultimately ‘reset’ my body to where it’s supposed to be.  I may have to give up caffeine but I’m not doing it just yet. I have made a huge shift and I think if I add another major one it will add too much at once. It’s going to have to wait until I get used to this initial shift first . But, I noticed when I drink caffeine, my skin gets agitated.  It’s got to be the acid. I’ll look to drink decaf at some point. However, for now, I’m going to continue to be aware of what’s going on with my body.  I have lost some weight, although I feel bloated this week because of BFF, but overall I feel good.

For so long, I’ve been ‘waiting’ for the right time to ‘work on my health’. It’s funny because back in 2011, I made a major move to ‘work on my health’.  But I never realized it had to start with my mind. I was so unaware back then (and it’s only been a few years). I thought for sure I would figure out what I needed to do to lose weight, but what happened was so much more and for that I’m eternally grateful. I learned about my mind and my feelings and how they are connected. I learned how my thinking was causing my current reality.  If I never learned all of that, I wouldn’t be where I am today which is facing reality as to why I’m overweight, how it began, how my thinking and resulting behaviors contributed to an unhealthy body.  If I didn’t gain that knowledge, I would be on another diet again, failing and wondering why I’m gaining and losing the same 10 lbs when I have over 50 to lose.

This is the focus in my life right now. Everything else is on the periphery. I’m okay with that because I have been wanting to focus just on this and yet, things seemed to get in the way. Not this time. I’ve got weight to lose and a body to transform. I cannot do that when distracted with so many other things in my life.  Of course, those distraction were cause by me making those other things a priority over the true priority which is my health. I also know, doing this will help me achieve one of my other goals – being a role model for my son which I believe is going to be the case as I go through this transformation.

 

Would I lie to you (I mean myself)???

(I used to love that song back in the 80’s!!)

At our weight loss support group meeting, we talked about what works when we are ‘on track’ or ‘being good’ and what doesn’t.  Then it came to me, am I telling myself the truth about what works?  Am I telling myself the truth when I say things like, “I don’t have a sugar addiction.” or “I can eat just a little bit and I’m satisfied.”  Really?  Is this true or how I manipulate the truth to ‘justify’ my actions? Or should I say, give myself permission?   Similar to being in a unhappy relationship, we lie to ourselves over and over to justify our decision to stay in the relationship without even thinking twice. If I know this, why do I keep doing it?

I’d rather ignore the damages of what is being done to my body and eat food that ‘makes me feel good in the moment’ than face reality.  I’d rather give myself permission to eat as much as I want, when I want and what I want to appease the inner child in me because that’s how I’ve historically shown love to myself. This logically makes no sense, but if we are being honest, it is exactly what happens. This ‘love’ I’ve shown myself has resulted in the following:

  • BMI that’s off the chart
  • Obesity
  • Joint pain
  • Lack of energy
  • Insulin Resistance/Pre-diabetes
  • Hormone imbalances
  • Brain Fog
  • Lack of sleep
  • Female issues
  • Indicators for heart disease, leading to Syndrome X
  • Apple shape/Belly fat
  • Hair loss
  • Decline in physical appearance (i.e. can’t find clothes that look good, skin is bulgy etc.) which significantly impacts self-confidence and self-esteem

I have issues with food. I lose control more often then I’d like to admit. Here’s the thing, if I continue to lie to myself all the time, guess what the results will be 5 years, 10 years from now…you know the answer! Ding, ding: Unhealthy & unhappy with serious medical issues.

I’ve done a lot of self-development work over the course of the last 3 years. This work has opened my mind up to some of the self-destructive behaviors we all do that have sadly become habits.  If continued, these habits will lead to either early death or years of suffering.   I consider myself relatively young and yet, I feel like I’m in my 60’s because it’s hard to move around, be active and have the energy necessary to live a full life.  It’s not going to get easier, it’s going to get harder and harder. Yet, I lie to justify!  I ‘try’ not to think about it, but reality is, I’m thinking about it obsessively and that’s not working either.

It’s time to get real.  I have been avoiding the mirror because I don’t want to see the truth. When I went shopping for clothes, I was angry and wasn’t taking responsibility. I was blaming the clothing companies  and stores (my blog entry from last week) for not carrying or producing flattering clothing in my size.  While I still stand by the fact that there should be more tailored clothing available in plus sizes, the truth is, I didn’t want to take responsibility and own the anger.  Instead it was easier to blame others and continue lying to myself instead of the truth that it’s been my choices that landed me where I am today. Granted, there are many factors that go into those choices, like lack of knowledge, awareness and physical changes, but ultimately, it’s my life, my choices and I have to own that. I cannot continue to sit around making up stories to justify those choices.  I made them and it’s over. Now it’s time to accept where I am today and move forward.

I’ve made a lot of progress with incorporating healthy habits into my life, but I have a long way to go. That’s the truth.  The other truth is that in order for me to significantly improve my health, I have to start getting real about food.  I need to eliminate many of the offending foods from my diet.  There’s a reason most diets recommend ‘cleaning your environment’ and that’s to remove temptation from the equation. It’s difficult to incorporate changes to your diet but it’s extra hard when you have the offending foods in your face.  In the past, I would get angry, why can’t I have those foods available (going back to my childhood)?  I should be able to ‘handle’ them. The truth is, I cannot. I binge on them. Its time to remove them from my life. They do not add to my life, they slowly take it away.  I have to start saving my life today. I know if I don’t, I won’t be here as long as I should be. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s reality, and since I’m starting to give up lying to myself, I will give myself the gift of truth from this point forward.

In the coming weeks, I’ll be working to remove sugar and flour from my diet.  I’ve done it before unsuccessfully because I didn’t have the support system in place ahead of time.  Today, I do and I’ll be testing this in the coming weeks.  I’m so grateful to have this venue available so I can share with you my thoughts and emotions during this process.  It’s going to be tough but what will be tougher is if I don’t try and instead give up.  That I cannot do.

 

 

Shopping for clothes is not fun when you’re overweight

The last couple of weeks have been interesting. I’ve been really hard on myself and been noticing things bothering me more than normal. One thing that bothered me a lot had to do with clothes not fitting.  Because I’m an apple shape, it’s really hard to find clothes that fit well and look good.  I was doing some research online for tips for those who have apple shapes and honestly, ideas of what looks good were not consistent.

One challenge is finding the right pants or skirts to wear, not just for work but casual clothing as well.  It’s frustrating.  I take the time to style my hair and apply makeup on a daily basis.  However, when I wear an outfit and the waistband rolls over, it’s embarrassing.  I was honestly thinking, manufacturers should consider this when creating clothing for those of us who carry weight in our belly. Maybe create pants/skirts that are similar to maternity wear where the waistband goes up and over your belly. It’s crazy that I considered shopping in that department (and potentially very embarrassing) but what other options are there? I don’t want to walk around with pants rolling down and exposing my belly because my shirts aren’t long enough.

I know this sounds crazy but even though I am overweight, I do like to look presentable.  Is that so much to ask? Why does it seem as though a lot of these clothing manufactures think women who are overweight want to look like a tent? Why do shirts look like tents and pants look like parachutes? I don’t carry weight in my butt or legs, it’s all in my belly. That being said, when buying pants, I have to purchase ones that fit my waist.

Unfortunately, obesity is on the rise. If it continues to grow, how clothes are made should be adjusted to accommodate the various body types.  I don’t want to (nor can I) look like a slob when I’m at work.  It’s going to take time to lose this weight and while I am, I want to look good no matter if I’m at sporting event or in a meeting.

Shopping for clothes should be a fun experience. But at times, I end up leaving the store defeated because nothing fits right. I’m tired of wearing the same clothes.  It’s not fun, it’s overwhelming. Not only are you not finding the right fitting clothes, but you’re also looking at yourself in the mirror not fitting into clothes and looking awful. How can you ‘tell yourself’ you look good all the time, when you look in the mirror all you see is yourself NOT looking good?

I’ve been working on the positive thinking (as you know) and it’s helped a lot but when I trying to saying things like, “I’m a healthy weight” or “I’m fit and look amazing.” it’s not believable and I say to myself, whey am I lying to myself? Why am I saying this when I know it’s not true and knowing is what trumps what you’re saying, correct?

 

 

This is getting old…

Why does it seem like every time I get into a groove and really start to feel like I’m on the right track, all of the sudden, out of no where, I fall off the track!  And the kicker is, sometimes, I don’t even realize what I’m doing. It’s like I slip into bad habits and don’t even see them coming.  Then something happens, and I’m suddenly noticing what’s happening, yet I’m STILL ENGAGING in the behaviors…how does this make sense? This is getting old…

I have BFF this week, which as I mentioned in previous posts, my most vulnerable time (think pain-body/negative attitude).  I know this about myself, have spent time preparing, marking my calendar to make sure I stay on top of it and notice when I’m thinking differently.  Yet, at the same time, I unconsciously start thinking negatively, saying negative things about myself and then all of the sudden, I’m in front of the TV, binge eating and wondering how the heck I got there.

Can anyone relate to this? It’s like I become another person, the one that has a negative spirit, negative thoughts and ultimately follows negative behaviors which do not align with my true nature or my goals.  It’s very frustrating.

Yesterday, I noticed some of the things I was saying and I had to immediately stop myself.  It worked for about an hour, then back to it again. Yes, I grabbed a coffee because that does improve my state quickly and it did.  However, later in the evening, it happened again, followed by eating episode.  I was discouraged. It’s as if I don’t have control over it, like I don’t want to control it. There’s a serious internal conflict going on here.  I have recognized this behavior as being ‘Poor Maria, she’s going through BFF right now and needs to do what she wants to feel better’. This is not helpful, I know, but for some reason, it happens.  I believe it’s from my childhood when my mother treated me this way and I reveled in it because it was the one of the few times she showed compassion in our relationship.

But that was 20 years ago! Why the heck am I carrying on her legacy of treating me like I’m helpless?   I play this role to achieve attention and love.  If I don’t receive it externally from others, I give it to myself by ‘allowing’ any food and doing whatever I want during that time, which mostly consists on laying on the couch eating while watching TV.

I’m embarrassed to admit this but it’s time to get real. It’s time to lay it all out on the table because this has become a monthly thing.  I will do really well, habits going well, self-talk going well and then all of the sudden, I’m back at square one, doing the dumb stuff that put this weight on in the first place.  I’ve been able to squash this behavior when I’ve been on diets and losing weight, so I know it’s possible.  Preparing ahead has helped and I’m grateful I’m now fully aware of what I’m doing, but I think it’s going to take some work to resolve this internal conflict. Any ideas?

Emotional Eating vs Emotional Feeling

Over the course of the week, I felt myself getting agitated and when I checked my calendar, I realized, it was a week before BFF.  I knew it was coming and had taken time to think through ahead in order to manage my eating.  It came on sudden though, and my responses seemed reactionary. My attitude was not good. I was short with my family and had an overall state of negativity.  I tried talking myself out of it because I knew it was happening (total revelation), I was watching it, watching my thoughts.

I’m not sure if you read or believe in the concepts from the book, “The Power of Now” but I’ve read it multiple times and listen to it often.  I do believe in the ego self (the bible calls the flesh) and the pain-body.  This was a hard concept for me to grasp in the beginning but after listening to Eckhart multiple times, I started to understand what he was referring to and how as a female, the pain-body is strong during TOM.

When I was noticing my reactions, I was getting upset because I was acting like a child.  I finally decided to change my state by drinking coffee. Believe it or not, it worked. I immediately felt better.  Not ideal in the long term, but it helped shift my focus.  The pattern lasted about 3 days.  On the third day, my son actually pointed it out to me and I heard myself responding with an excuse, “It’s hormones.” That may be true, but it cannot become a separate identity I use to explain my behavior.  Instead, I know I can control it during those times, monitor what’s happening and feel the emotions.

On Tuesday, I had a situation occur where I felt like another person trying to take advantage of us.  Of course it hurt, but also sparked anger.  I’ve had some negative interactions with this person a few weeks prior where his lack of integrity shined through.  My immediate response was, “I’m going to show him how I know he’s trying to ‘pass one over one us’.”  Now this was crazy talk and I knew it yet the emotions which followed were intense. But this time, because I was aware of it, I made a point to talk myself through it, to feel the emotions coming up as a result of this situation.  It wasn’t easy because I was so used to eating to deal with them.

This time, I was in the car, there wasn’t any food around and frankly, I was stern with myself by saying I needed to start feeling these emotions.  I wasn’t sure what I was doing or if I was feeling correctly but I did it.  While I was driving, I let the emotions come like waves in the ocean and it felt strange, but while deep breathing, I could literally feel the emotions passing through and out. It felt therapeutic.

When things seemed to pass, I shifted my focus and started listening to a book which made me happy.  In the back of my mind, I knew I had to respond to this person eventually, but by feeling the emotions and not reacting immediately, it helped for when I did respond. What I said later came from a logical place rather than an emotional one. It helped significantly.

It seems minor but I can say this one small change rippled into all areas of my life.  I didn’t binge on food. Instead, I felt more in control for the rest of the day. I did what made me happy and I was in a better mood for it.  Interacting with others felt better, I was more productive because I wasn’t constantly distracted by the emotions of what happened that morning.  Ruminating thoughts were non-existent. I went on with my routine and felt good.

Feeling emotions are not inherent to me. I’ve struggled with identifying when they come and ultimately how to manage them.  In the past, I’ve most often turned to food for immediate comfort.  However, my health suffered and I know in order for me to be a better person, to give back to others in the world, I will need to manage emotions a lot better (This is Dan Goldman’s entire premise in his book, “Emotional Intelligence”).

I’m grateful for where I am today because I know it’s the path to eternal peace and joy.  I am excited about helping women find this peace and freedom.  Imagine how much healthier our world will be…

Reconnecting with our bodies is key

I understand how thoughts create our lives. I get the concept of making sure we choose happiness and when things don’t go our way, to quickly shift our thoughts.  I also understand what we resist persists. If we focus on what we don’t want, it continues to stay in our lives.

So how has my previous thought processes and choices contributed to where I am today?  I realized that since I was a teenager, I did focus on what I didn’t want in my life.  Things I would say to myself consisted of, not having a belly (which I have now), being overweight (which I am now), obsessed about food (which I have been) and those are just related to my health.

The good news is that I know it’s about focusing on what I do want ALL the time.  When I catch my thoughts going in the wrong direction, it’s about quickly turning them around.  I was writing in my journal what I do want.  Living a healthy life, a life of moderation, activity, happiness and being at a healthy weight.  I continuously recite words of affirmation daily to ensure it gets deep into my subconscious because turning around 30 years of negative programming takes a while.  Even if I don’t believe it right away, it will take hold. I have already noticed changes. Changes in my behavior towards those I love and even just one off situations where I notice positive affirmations overtaking the old negative thoughts. It’s awesome and I feel great about it. My life is so much more peaceful.

But I can’t help thinking when it will start to change how I treat my body, how I eat and how I listen to my body. Today, I know when I’m hungry but I’m still not good at shutting down when I’m full or I don’t listen and keep eating.  When I fully respect, love and am connected to my body, I will automatically do what’s right for my body.  It’s one area I’m looking to receive change.  I’m ready to let go and relearn to trust myself, trust my body to inherently show me what I need to do to take care of it.  I was reading a book on body signals and it was talking about how human beings have gotten so far removed from body connection.  If we stopped thinking so much and listened more to our bodies, we wouldn’t need diets.  Diets actually cause distrust in our ability to physically tell us what it needs all the time.  When I read this, I thought, wow, that is so true!

I’m on a journey to reconnect with my body and trust again.  When this happens, a new world will be born.  What a wonderful thought!