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Taking the time to heal

I have to be honest and tell you, I did not want to post this week because it has been up and down.  I can’t pinpoint a specific event that happened, but my thoughts and emotions were erratic and I didn’t get to the gym.  I was off track and felt ‘disconnected’ if that makes sense.  My morning habits suffered and I know that’s a big piece of it.  The good news is when I least expected, I had positive thoughts.  Instead of the normal ‘beating myself up‘ routine I’ve been so used to, I actually stopped (when I noticed) and redirected my thoughts.  The only thing is, the repetitive thinking crept back in and depending on when I ‘caught‘ it, either I was successful or I wasn’t.

I started the week off by planning meals, cooking and prepping on Sunday.  However, when Tuesday rolled around, it was like everything was tossed out the window.  I realized I wasn’t sustaining my positive frame of mind and it impacted my emotions.  Again, probably because in the mornings, I didn’t have the time to sit in silence to pray, meditate and set my mind in the right direction.  If I wasn’t working on myself this year, I wouldn’t have thought twice about my thought patterns. It would’ve taken me longer to identify the source of my unhappiness. I’m grateful to see the progress and look forward to the day where it can happen in minutes.

To improve my mood, I registered for a meditation retreat. In the past I would have been skeptical about going to one, but not now. Taking the time to relax and learn different techniques to calm myself and refocus thoughts will improve my health and well being.  Not only that, but it teaches you how to connect and ‘trust’ yourself again.  This has been a major focus since the disconnection is what created the unhealthy ‘diet mentality’ that’s wreaked havoc on my mind and body from the beginning.

This weekend we have some activities planned and I’m looking forward to the time with family and the time to be in silence. I will reset and start again.  Is it frustrating? Only if I focus on the negative. This is a life long journey to heal my mind and body.  Instead of worrying about the scale and counting calories, I’m focused on learning how to trust myself again, to connect with my body to identify true hunger, satisfaction and ultimately to learn what makes me happy. This is the way to sustainable and lifelong health. It may take longer than I would want, but I lived the ‘diet’ route so long without success, I’m now ready to heal no matter how long it takes…

 

Old Emotional Patterns Contributing to Weight

This week, I was finding myself impatient and agitated and I couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from.  Maybe waking up on the wrong side of the bed, I’m not sure.  It was hard to shake even after praying in the morning, I was still thinking negative thoughts. It wasn’t like something happened to spark the thoughts, they were just random.  Either way, it impacted my behavior and those around me and I had to apologize.  I had to forgive myself too.  I’ve been working on letting go of the negative thoughts and beliefs but it goes to show you, that it doesn’t happen overnight.

One of the main things I noticed which bothered me was people ‘looking’ at me. I know it sounds strange but I’ll explain.  I made a choice 3 years ago to take the time to look good when I leave the house. That means wearing skirts and nylons to work, styling my hair and make up. In the past, I didn’t care so much about those things. I would say to myself, I’ll do it when I lose the weight.  However, I’ve learned, I had to start doing those things now, even if I’m overweight at the moment because it makes me feel better about myself.  And it has and I’m grateful I made the right choice for me.  This has been a habit now for over 3 years since I made the original decision.

However, these past few days, I’ve ‘noticed’ people looking at me and normally it doesn’t bother me. I typically look into someones eyes, acknowledge them and say hello with a smile. This is another choice I made as a commitment to myself.  Not everyone smiles and says hello back, but I’ll be honest, since I started doing it, MOST people do.  It’s sad to say this little act was something I didn’t do before. I would wait for others to say hello first and I rarely smiled (I feel ashamed admitting this to you).  Remember, I was a very angry person before (mostly at myself) and so I would say negative things to myself to justify why I didn’t need to ‘go out of my way’ to smile and say hello to others. How shallow and sad.  I see that now.

Since I’ve been practicing this behavior, it not only feels good inside, but it feels good to see others smile as if they needed to be acknowledged.  As adults, I believe we get so into our head and our own selfish thinking, we don’t realize there are others who need a little encouragement and happiness because they may be having a tough day.  What a revelation I experienced when I discovered this little act of love.

Like I said, typically it’s felt good for me, but the last few days, I’ve noticed myself becoming very self-conscious and I couldn’t figure out what was going on.  It’s like I’m seeing more and more people look at me, especially women and my thoughts were all over the place.   The first time it happened was when I went to the gym in the morning. I get ready for work there and I sometimes don’t feel secure with the choice of clothes I picked out.  There isn’t a full length mirror to look at when I’m changing so I don’t know how I look until the last minute, when I’m walking out of the gym and it can sometimes feel awkward.  That may be some of the reason these feelings were coming up when the women at the gym were looking at me, and I don’t think it was intentional but at the moment, my thoughts were all over the place.

I was thinking, “Are they judging me? Do the clothes I’m wearing look okay? What’s wrong with me? Why are they staring at me? Did I do something wrong?”  It feels good saying this because it was bubbling up inside and I believe it’s those old insecurities which fall into my old comfort zone and justified my selfish behavior in the past.  I know it’s not any different than any other day, but for some reason, the last couple of days, I’ve felt uncomfortable with people looking at me.

On the way home from work, I said to myself, I’m going to let that go. I’m going to continue smiling and saying hello to others even if they look at me, I’m going to smile and say to myself, “I love other people.”  I know that will help with resolving some of those insecure thoughts that pop into my head.

Some experts say we keep weight to ‘protect’ us from feeling emotions or experiencing things we’d rather avoid.  This came to me yesterday and I thought, yes, that is part of it.  In the past, because I didn’t feel good about myself, I would avoid people and situations as I gained weight. The more I gained, the more I would avoid being in public.  Part of that is people ‘looking at me’ and it made me very uncomfortable. I would say, “They are judging me.” and I didn’t want to be exposed to the judgement (I judged myself a whole lot more than others did, I made sure of it) Logically I say I don’t mind it, but on an emotional level, I’ve realized, that it triggers old uncomfortable feelings of being ‘seen’.  When I was being ‘seen’ in my past, I experienced pain whether from childhood when I was teased mercilessly or even as a adult.  Wow, as I’m writing this, it’s starting to make sense. I’m realizing when I was ‘seen’ by others (men), things didn’t end well at all and that’s scarred my memory.  I experienced a lot of judgement which I internalized. I didn’t feel good about myself so I attracted others who didn’t feel good about themselves and was hurt. This could be contributing to those old negative thoughts questioning why people are ‘looking at me’ and can I feel comfortable with that again, whether it’s now or when I’m at my goal weight.

This is something I’m going to have to work on because it’s come up before.  Instead of dealing with it, I’ve just kept the weight on and didn’t think about it.  If this healing is going to continue, I’m going to need to think through those instances where I was seen and hurt and how that’s in the past and I let that go now.  I’m a different person today.  I feel better about myself in many ways. I no longer attract negative people into my life. I’ve met and maintained many positive relationships and I’m grateful.   I will continue to dig deeper into those old emotions and how when they come instead of giving them airtime, I will challenge them, are they still valid? Is there anything in my life currently that’s supporting this belief today? If not, can I release it? Can I let go of those old emotions that held on to the fear of being ‘seen’?  If so, I am going to let them go now because they no longer serve me and who I am today.

It feels good expressing this to you, thank you for listening!

Old Emotional Patterns Contributing to Weight

Old Emotional Patterns Contributing to Weight

Old Emotional Patterns Contributing to Weight

Does Gratitude Accelerate Weight Loss?

I’ve been reading a lot about personal development including blogs and books on the subject.  Invariably, you’ll hear a lot of people talk about becoming grateful about everything that happens to you and for you.  I remember a while back watching Oprah talk about how she maintains a gratitude journal and showed a clip of her interviewing Lady Gaga who said she took Oprah’s suggestion of creating a gratitude journal way before she was a popular singer.  I remember thinking, ‘Yes, I’m grateful too!” but I never took the time to actually produce a consistent gratitude ‘journal’.  It’s one thing to hear about a good idea and it’s another thing to actually ‘implement’ it.

Now remember I was saying before, in the past, I used to write out like 15-20 goals each year and it was just overwhelming?  It was part of the legacy ‘perfectionist’ attitude I carried which ultimately gave me an excuse, or cop out, to give up.   After hearing things over and over, one day I realized, instead of doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result, I wanted to actually change what I was doing.   I started with only picking a couple goals to focus on each year and  with little achievable (quick win) habits I can easily track daily to see my progress. Not only has it been working and improving my self-efficacy, I now feel so much better knowing I am making small changes and it feels good to see the baby steps in action.

Getting back to gratitude. About a year ago, I decided I needed to take action around gratitude. I have been extremely grateful but I wasn’t committed to writing it down in a journal. For some reason, writing it down is critical.  Last year, I started with writing 3 things a day.  It was spotty in the beginning (I didn’t track my habits last year) but then I started following a cadence to coincide with my prayer/meditation in the mornings.  It was easy at first, but then, I really had to think about what I wrote because I wanted this to be a deep exercise. I wanted it to have true ‘meaning’ to me about what I was REALLY grateful for in my life.  Instead of things that felt shallow at the time to just check the box on my ‘to do’ list for the morning but to dig deep.

It’s a year later and I continue to capture all those things I’m grateful for and let me tell you, it really makes a difference.  Why? Because I started to see things differently.  I capture my ideas in the morning (my handwriting isn’t the best @ 5 AM) and it sets the tone for the rest of the day.  My mind is looking for those things to be grateful for instead of seeing the negative side of things.  It’s subtle but definitely worth IMG_0816the exercise.  In the past, I found myself focusing on what was missing in my life which led to depression, anxiety and low self-esteem.  Feeling that ‘lack’ was not supporting my weight loss efforts.  Instead, it was a cycle of pain and internal suffering of not feeling good enough or loved enough to make the right choices.

Weight loss takes planning and preparation.  It also takes changing your thinking, beliefs, habits and behaviors.  If I continue to begin to change my thinking to focus on those things I am grateful for, it helps me approach tough choices around eating.  I’m convinced this is a habit that will support me through this journey and I will continue to keep you posted as I progress.

 

 

How positive podcasts support the weight loss journey

I have been listening to a ton of podcasts lately because I drive approximately 2 hours daily and can listen to them in their entirety which is awesome.  These uplifting messages are really helping my mood as well as my motivation to keep going.

I focused on a few of the podcasts these last couple of weeks.  The most impactful is Heather Robertsons “Half Size Me” which focuses on weight maintenance. Heather interviews people who have already accomplished success in either weight maintenance which is extremely helpful. They talk to Heather about where they came from, how they lost the weight and how they live their lives on a daily basis to keep it off.

After listening to so many, I’m picking up on some common themes.  I initially thought there would be some sort of ‘secret’ revealed but reality is, most have found their own ‘way’ or their own ‘strategy’ which has worked for them.  And this is after years of yo-yo dieting and going on all the popular programs.

Essentially, it started with a decision. This decision either came from a major event (i.e. Type 2 Diabetes diagnosis) or some type of ‘pain threshold’ where they said ‘enough is enough’ and decided to take action.

In the past, when I’ve lost 65+ pounds, it was because I had a specific goal. For example, one of the times was to lose it by my wedding.  Unfortunately after the wedding, I didn’t sustain the weight I lost because I didn’t take the time to set up new goals or think about the experience as changing my life. I was young and thought once I lost the weight, I could eat what I want. I laugh thinking about how young I was in the way I approached weight loss.  Now years later (and I like to think wiser), I realize, it’s so much more. It’s about your psychology.  What are you beliefs? How do you talk to yourself, what do you think about on a daily basis, what habits do you have in place and of course, how is your relationship with food? What makes someone make the decision to lose the weight for good and not go back?

I’ve made the decision in the past, but went back to old behaviors as early as 4 hours later.  I don’t think it’s just about making the decision to change your life (i.e. beliefs, thoughts and behavior) but more importantly ‘committing’ to that decision no matter what. That’s where I’ve fallen down repeatedly. I don’t believe my ‘why’ was strong enough in the past. It wasn’t enough leverage to move me. Overeating has been meeting all my needs in the moment. Beliefs like I could start again Monday, or I’m young and can lose it quickly were what played in my head. Sadly, those beliefs are not serving me anymore.

I have learned a lot this past year and most recently, I’ve learned so much from hearing about others success stories through podcasts and I’m grateful they have been made available (thank you Heather!).  It’s inspiring and I will continue because if you watch mainstream media, it’s not always positive.  I will continue to listen to positive messages because I believe that’s what’s going to accelerate those changes I am making to live a healthier life. It takes time, patience, consistency and commitment.

Have a happy holiday!

Taking it Day by Day

I have been reading other blogs and listening to positive podcasts to and from work which have been really helpful.  “Half Size Me” is a really good one! Heather Robertson interviews women who have lost the weight and kept it off.

When I lost the weight times before, it was for short term goals, wedding, trip etc.  In the interviews, these successful women all have said the same thing which essentially is that you have to have another goal set when you reach the first one otherwise, it won’t be sustainable. The other big takeaway was doing a plan that works in your lifestyle and you can maintain it even after you lose all the weight.  Things I’ve heard in the past repeatedly but for some reason, it’s resonating more with me this time around.

I installed ‘MyFitnessPal’ on my phone and I love it. I was always a paper tracker in the past and didn’t like using the online tools but I really like this one. It’s so easy and has just about every food in there…for the low price of FREE (an added bonus).

As the holidays approach, I’m thinking more about 2015 and what I want to achieve big picture rather than losing/gaining weight. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, but in the past, I’ve always focused on eating plans and menus. I would spend a lot of time baking cookies but scaled back when I lost weight in 2008 and it has stuck ever since.  I do some baking but not even close to what I used to do.  I know myself and t’s not a good idea for me.  I realized I can still enjoy the holidays without baking 15 days out of the month.

It’s been up and down these past few weeks. I’m going through a lot of different emotions and thought patterns. I’m not beating myself up as I’ve been so used to, instead, I’m really focused on accepting myself on this journey.  One other thing I heard the other day that really impacted me was we are on this weight loss journey for the rest of our lives. Even if we lose all the weight, we still will watch what and how we eat.  At that moment,  it seemed like the ‘pressure’ was lifted from me.  Why did I put on this pressure in the first place? Because I kept thinking, “I’m getting older now and I have to get this weight off right away.” When reality is that if it comes off slowly, it will be more likely to stay off.

Rushing has been a theme in my life and as I’m getting older, I’m seeing that rushing in various aspects actually impedes my ability to be successful.  Taking a step back and thinking about this moment, rather then thinking I have 65 pounds to lose is much more tolerable.  I’ve always been a ‘planner’ and even with weight loss, I’ve planned out how much I’m going to lose, by when and had the menus and lists to back it up.  All good stuff, but it was limiting.  I was setting myself up for failure (can you hear ‘all or nothing’ thinking here?).

My approach today is taking it day by day…that’s the key to weight loss and maintenance. I’m ready to relax and see where this journey takes me…and I know I’ll learn a lot from others along the way, including you.  Have you rushed in the past and how did that help/hurt your weight loss efforts?

5 Reasons Why I Overeat

I have been thinking about the complexity of managing my weight and realized I only eat because of a few reasons. If I can capture these reasons by posting them here for my own accountability hopefully it can help someone else.  The first step is acknowledgement, right?

  1. Eating due to hunger (appetite) – Hunger would be the first reason and is a natural physiological reason to eat.  Everyone shares this reason across the board.
  2. Eating due to cravings –  Cravings can appear whether it’s from watching a commercial on television or smelling popcorn at a movie theater.  They can sneak up on you and sometimes, they are strong enough you feel like you have to give in for it to pass. Cravings also come when your body is out of balance like hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) or when you’re body becomes accustomed to eating certain foods and then you don’t eat them, cravings can come on strong (i.e. sugar or carb cravings).
  3. Eating due to boredom – Lately I’ve been noticing this pattern which is sometimes when I’m not ‘into’ doing something.  It’s a dangerous reason because it’s easy and becomes habitual. Probably one of the most detrimental reasons in my efforts to lose weight. The easy cure is to not become bored in the first place.  Finding other means to occupy my time rather than reaching for the chips and zoning out on reality shows or the Hallmark channel.
  4. Eating due to emotional triggers – This one is popular.  The emotions don’t all have to be negative ones (sad, lonely, angry etc) but can also be happy and excited emotions like celebrations. I read somewhere that emotions are a 90-second physiological response in the body and if we learned to recognize them and let them ‘pass’ we would have more control over our eating. In my experience, typically emotions have lasted longer because my thoughts sometimes ruminate over the same set of thoughts which triggered the emotions in the first place.  Definitely something I’m working on…
  5. Eating due to habitual behavior – My experiences have led to eating ‘desert’ after dinner and has now become a daily habit.  This habit was born many, many years ago and is going to take a while to replace, but it’s definitely a habit.  It’s like driving down the same road repeatedly for so long, now the road has deep grooves in it.  In order to change this one, I have to think about replacing it with a better habit and creating new grooves. Now, finding that new habit, that’s the challenge.

Food has become such an influential part of my life.  I realized even in my family it’s a huge deal, and not around birthdays and holidays.  Everyone in my family talks about food constantly and they don’t have weight problems!  It’s like food is the center of our lives and why?  I think it has to do with love and connection, where we as a family find common ground in a crazy world. It’s the one thing we agree on together, where we spend time together and it is enjoyable.  A much deeper issue, I know.

I was talking with some friends last week about weight and eating and finally we got to a root issue, not practicing self-love. Now overall if you asked me if I love myself, I would say “Yes, I do love myself.” but if you asked me what happens after I overeat, what do I say to myself? I would tell you it would be a series of punishing words, “You shouldn’t have eaten that! What were you thinking? You are getting fatter and fatter by the minute! You slob!”   It’s awful and something I would never say to loved ones if they overate.

I remember Joyce Meyer saying one time that she didn’t feel right unless she felt wrong. This is the same concept.  I grew up in a perfectionist environment, if I didn’t punish myself, then I wasn’t feeling good about myself no matter what I did.  I had to punish myself because that’s what you did when you didn’t live up to expectations.  We are our own judge and jury.  The pain we feel is much more then what others put on us…it’s the pain that keeps us eating, because it’s when we feel better for the moment.  We just keep eating to rid of that empty feeling and when we keep gaining weight and then try to force ourselves to stick to a food regimen, we fail because it’s overwhelming . It’s just easier to punish ourselves with words and keep eating.This self-punishing is another habit, one that has deep grooves but I can overcome with practice, new habits and acknowledgement.

Can anyone else relate? Are you your own judge and jury? Is your self-talk awful?  What do you say to yourself after you overeat?

 

 

 

Starting a virtual weight management support group

Do you ever think to yourself, I know what to ‘do’ to lose weight, but don’t do it?  Heck, you probably could teach a class on nutrition because you know what foods you ‘should’ be eating.  Why do we choose the ice cream and pie instead of the fruit? Bread stuffing instead of the green beans? You know you ‘should’ choose the better choice but instead, you end up choosing the carbs and sugar.

These last few weeks, my thoughts have been, “I need to get on a plan, I need to eat better, I need to do ‘something'”.  I thought about going back on a popular plan, but then again, I’ve done that and have not followed the plan.  Yes, they work, but you have to follow them which I have not been successful doing lately.

I was writing in my journal the other day and was thinking about what it’s going to take to make a life shift in this area. It’s funny because when I decided I was done with dieting, I thought the weight would come off because I wouldn’t be so obsessed about it. Instead, I’m thinking about weight and food more than ever because I’m anxious about gaining weight which I have been doing consistently.  I’m used to tracking daily, weighing and measuring food etc. I know those tactics all work.  However, I was burnt out and now rebelling.

But, I realize I need the support of others who are at the same point. I think we are all on our own journey and we need to discover what works for us, which may not work for others.  We all have our ‘thresholds’ when we get to that point where the life shift takes place but that timing is something no one else can determine, it’s individual.

I have enough strategies to fill my entire bookcase (and it does). I want to really focus on the cause of the behavior and that’s my belief system which has been formed throughout my life from role models and reinforced by life experiences.  If I do not work on this now, all the strategies in the world will be short lived.

I’m starting a virtual support group if others out there willing to join me.  Instead of reviewing tactics like staying off sugar or tracking calories, we will actively support each other while changing our beliefs and thinking. Given we are moving into a new year, I believe now is the time to ditch the diet roller coaster weight loss/gain and really dig deep to change those beliefs which fuel our thinking and behavior around food, health and fitness.

Interested? Let me know…

 

Actively Seeking Support during this Weight Loss Journey

This week has been up and down. I had a couple of good days of eating when hungry and taking my time to eat.  I made my lunches this past Sunday and plan to do the same this week, which I know works. I’ve even tracked 80% of the time making sure I also include 5 good things I did right that day.   I went to the gym 3 times and it was great because I purchased some new books on my Kindle to read and the 45 minute walk went by in a snap.

I have been contemplating going back to WW again just because I feel like I need the accountability ‘weigh-in’ and the support.   But instead, I decided I’m starting a Meetup group.  I would love to do a virtual Meetup but I don’t know how to advertise, so for now, I’m going to start one locally.

It would be nice to talk about some of the issues we go through psychologically while on this journey to live healthy lives and ultimately lose weight.  Things like how we deal with stress which impacts our decisions and how to make changes for next time.   I’m looking forward to building a community of women who can support each other as we go through life’s ups and downs.

Starting a support group is my goal for this month.  The holidays are coming so its perfect timing to actively seek support during the hardest time of the year for those who don’t have the best relationship with food.  Do you have support during the holidays? People you can turn to when things are tough with stress and family?   If you are interested in participating in a virtual meet up, let me know and if we can get enough women, I’ll set one up.

Starting another weight loss program? Not so much…

I started this ‘weight loss’ program through my job a few weeks ago.  I was excited to start because I wasn’t sure what to expect.  It felt like the ‘honeymoon’ period because it is new and I had high hopes that ‘this diet is going to save me’ or that it’s ‘going to be the one’ to finally lose the weight and keep it off forever.  Doesn’t it seem that way when you see others who’ve lost their weight and kept it off?  Not that we should compare ourselves to others, but guiltily I do sometimes.

When I dug deeper into their stories, I realized, it’s never the diet tactic, or strategy that causes the success, it’s something inside the person that shifts, usually changes in their thinking and approach to diet and lifestyle. Sometimes these changes are a result of a major life event, someone passing away, being diagnosed with diabetes or heart disease resulting in a rapid shift in thinking.  Other times, it’s just they’ve heard it enough times something ‘clicks’ for them.  It’s not the program or plan, it’s their thinking or approach that’s changed.

When I started this program, I guess it was the ‘child’ in me that hoped and dreamed this would be the case, but deep down, from all I’ve experienced and researched, the realistic side of me knew it wasn’t.

The program kicked off discussing tactics like monitoring appetite, eating only when hungry and chewing slowly.  I learned about these recently while reading Dr. Koenig’s book. When I started using these tactics, it really did work.  My problem wasn’t believing it didn’t work, but that I didn’t follow them 80% of the time which is the larger issue.

After the second week of the new program, the director announced we needed to avoid sugar for 3 weeks citing the benefits of being off sugar, quick weight loss, feeling better, insulin changes, etc.  These facts are true. But, when she announced this to the group, I immediately started feeling anxiety. It brought me back to the many times I’ve done it before and failed repeatedly. I ended up on an eating binge for weeks afterwards and the benefits I experienced off sugar were wiped away like a rush of water down a stream, it was very discouraging.  I just couldn’t see myself going through the whole 3 weeks white-knuckling it again.  Yes, the director had ideas to alleviate a lot of the cravings but I know after a while, it still gets to you.  When we had our session, one woman said she did well until about the 6th week when she binged the entire weekend.

I just can’t go back on that roller coaster again.  I have to find another way.  I asked myself the tough questions, am I ready to address the root cause of my overeating? My thoughts, self-talk, habits to take back control of my health?  It’s not about not eating sugar or tracking food, although both will assist in losing weight. It’s about balance, the 80/20 rule in conjunction with letting go of the all-or-nothing approach – the perfectionism way of dieting (which is just an excuse). I know there is a physiological component, that’s why there is a surge in Type II Diabetes cases, but I don’t believe cutting out sugar is the answer.  It has to be holistic approach – cutting back and replacing habits slowly.

Have you experienced the same challenge? Have you been told my multiple people (i.e. doctors, friends, diets etc.) you need to cut out sugar completely but have struggled to do so because of your past experiences dieting? If so, please share, what happened and what’s worked?

Eating Mindfully Works When You Do It

It’s been an emotional roller coaster lately given the circumstances. I was doing really well eating mindfully, sitting at the table without distractions and it’s helped with eating less. But we’ve been on the run, eating out and honestly eating too much.  I haven’t really been thinking about it because I’ve been focused on the issues at hand.  We are up on our lease as of next month and we haven’t signed a lease on a new place. This has been taking a lot of my mental energy lately because there is so much to do in such a limited amount of time.

I decided for this week, I’m focused on eating mindfully, at the table and without distractions for both breakfast and lunch.  My goal is to eat most meals and snacks at the table. I believe this will minimize the mindless eating.

In the past, I would have spent today beating myself up for eating too much this weekend but what’s the point? It hasn’t helped in the past, why do it now?  If I’m looking to change my behavior and practice self-love, than beating myself up is not going to help.  Instead, I’m bringing my attention to why I overate, what were the circumstances and how did I feel afterwards?  Was it helpful or hurtful? Would I approach things differently next weekend?

I’m acknowledging the mistakes in my judgement and decision making – which ultimately was unconscious and on auto-pilot.  I realize, the biggest issue I have is bringing consciousness to everything I do especially on weekends when the habit has been to be on auto-pilot.  I most likely comes from working all week, being tired and what is perceived as ‘relaxing’ on the weekends, which in my past, has been the habit.  This habit is a learned behavior and needs to be replaced with a more productive or self-loved behavior. Starting with eating at the table without distractions, will bring the awareness to my eating. I need to re-learn what it feels like to eat to satisfaction and learn the body’s cue’s to when enough is enough.

What are some behaviors you’re seeing that are contributing to your overeating?  Do you eat more on the weekends rather than during the week? How about in the evenings, do you eat mindlessly out of habit?