Tag Archives: Lose weight

Lies We Tell Ourselves

This week, I had to come clean about lies I’ve been telling myself and find out why this happens. So I did some research and came up with some interesting information.  I particular liked what Joyce Marter, LCPC says in “We All Lie to Ourselves: How to Stop, By Joyce Marter, LCPC

In the article, Joyce points out four reasons why we lie to ourselves. Here’s the one I wanted to focus on today:

  • Minimizing how much we eat to preserve our eating addiction ***   

This is the one that hits home. Over the years, I told myself often I could eat sugar in moderation and would ‘downplay’ how much I truly ate in order to ‘allow’ myself to eat more. I know that sounds strange, but it’s the truth. I can see now, I wanted to preserve my addiction to sugar because I loved it so much. I felt I needed it all the time (and when I say all the time, I’m talking at ever meal)! It was a defensive mechanism (self-preservation) so I didn’t have to face reality that I lacked self-control in this area.  It’s not easy to admit to this fact, but it’s the truth and I wanted to share the truth with you today.

While choosing to avoid sugar, I found something else that’s been causing some cravings. Real Peanut Butter (the natural, no sugar kind). In the past, I’ve never really had an issue with Peanut Butter, until now.

Peanut Butter

I keep telling myself I can have a little in moderation because I’m not eating sugar, flour or corn at the moment (self-justification).  I can have one treat, why not? But I’m noticing that I’m eating way more then I should.  I have to realize, this is going to hurt my efforts if I continue without setting limits on myself.   I haven’t done well with setting limits on food in the past.  I find myself eating more than I should, not sticking to the amount I agreed upon earlier in the day.   Is this a lie I’m telling myself, that I can eat more than what I planned? Definitely! How do we stop lying to ourselves? Joyce suggests we start by:

  • Examining those areas of our lives which are hurting us  — doing that through this blog post.
  • Continue to engage with people we trust — talking with BFFs.
  • Feel the negative emotions, talk through them and practice allowing them to dissipate — Redirect emotions towards something positive and consciously forgiving myself.
  • Focus on connecting to our inner self, and doing a gut check, are our thoughts, behaviors and words in alignment? — am what I’m thinking, saying and doing in alignment – I would say no because I’m thinking I can ‘handle’ the peanut butter and yet I’m not controling the portions.
  • Do our best to always be honest — It’s time to face the facts that I need to either control the portions or not eat the peanut butter.

As we all progress through this journey, it’s important to recognize and address those lies we tell ourselves in order to begin the healing process.  If we don’t, we’ll continue to spin and become frustrated, beat ourselves up and not reach our goals.  Have you lied to yourself about your eating habits?  If so, what are some examples?

Do you need motivation to lose weight?

I was listening to an old podcast on ‘Half Size Me’ yesterday on my way home from work and Heather was talking about motivation.  Someone had written an email to her asking about how to get the motivation to lose the weight.  I was thinking in my head how similar I felt to the writer.  The writer said she had lost the weight before and knows what’s it like to feel good and have energy, but at the same time, she’s having such a hard time getting the motivation to start again.  I have to agree. I know what it feels like to be thin and fit, it’s amazing.  I long for that feeling again but for some reason, I’m ‘comfortable’ right now or is that a lie I’m telling myself?

Tonight at the weight loss support group, one of the questions I want to ask everyone is, “Are we in denial?” and if so, “What are the stories we tell ourselves to keep us in denial?”.  I’m looking forward to what they will say.  My story is I’m just not ‘feeling’ like doing it because it takes so much effort.  Why bother if I’m going to gain it all back? I can lose the weight, I just haven’t been successful at maintenance or the lifestyle change required.  Can that change, absolutely and I believe it logically.  Emotionally, a totally different story.

Emotional mastery as I was talking about before, is the linchpin (thank you April) that holds it all together.  My friend April and I were talking about positive thinking and how important it is to keep yourself going in the right direction.  There’s one initial step that has to occur prior to knowing and changing your thinking to be positive, and that’s the awareness – the key to emotional mastery.  When you know your thoughts are going in the wrong direction, it’s the practice of turning them around immediately.  I’ve been working on it and I’m a whole lot better than I used to be, but I’ve got a ways to go.

On the podcast, Heather responded to the writer saying you cannot wait for motivation to appear, but instead to take action in the right direction. This has been something I’ve been doing with the habits.  It’s true what they say, when you start something, you’re emotions will catch up. Joyce Meyer talks a lot about if you don’t ‘feel’ like it, doing the right thing anyway. To apply it to lifestyle changes, I have to add, ‘Do it anyway when you’re at your best, which for me is in the AM‘.  If I wait until later in the day, forget about it.  I’m tired both physically and mentally so my emotions are amplified after 1 PM.   The habits are helping, but there are a few things I need to tweak with my food intake. Specifically incorporating healthy proteins as a snack in the afternoon.  I noticed if I don’t eat enough protein, I’m struggling and reaching for carbs mindlessly.  The after thoughts and resulting emotions are typically going in the wrong direction shortly afterwards.

Do you need motivation to lose weight?  Maybe not, maybe we just push ourselves in the right direction by taking small actions. Maybe we do something today to get us closer to our goals and forget waiting for the ‘ah ha’ moment or epiphany.  Yes, it would be wonderful to have that to drive me, but honestly, if it’s something negative, I don’t want it.  I believe not everyone has serious motivation just ‘appear’ or ‘click’ and instead, just find themselves moving in the right direction slowly.

All my life I’ve operated at the pace of a hare, hurrying and rushing under pressure.  Typically I failed often and got discouraged.  Now that I’m older, I realize, it’s about taking all that you’ve learned and applying it more often then not with ease.  Instead of rushing and trying to be perfect, appreciating the journey, the learnings along the way, the slow pace as you practice habits and new ways of doing things to support the success that comes later.   I know this is the case for me and I have in a sense changed my ‘race’ to reflect the pace of the tortoise this time and I’m okay with it because I know in the end, that’s who wins the race.

Do you need motivation to lose weight? Do you need motivation to lose weight? Do you need motivation to lose weight? Do you need motivation to lose weight? Do you need motivation to lose weight? Do you need motivation to lose weight? Do you need motivation to lose weight? Do you need motivation to lose weight? Do you need motivation to lose weight?